Едно, две, три...

generation gap

2010-02-13T16:01:00.000-08:00

There's definitely something to say for financial security and material wealth and happiness. We need to make money, and most people think they'll be happier when they can not only afford a nice vacation and a 4-bedroom house, but when they can afford to send their children to the best schools and provide all the things they didn't have growing up for their families. And of course, who doesn't want these things? I'm not sure, maybe it's because I'm not a parent yet or I don't fully understand the extent to which my parents love me but I know they feel best when they can buy me things: clothes, food, plane tickets, whatever. I think they feel this is how you love your children, you provide for them, you don't want to see them without the things their peers have. Maybe it's a cultural thing. But for me, as much as I appreciate and understand where they're coming from, that's not what makes me happiest. More than anything I want their moral support and words of encouragement. I want them to be proud of me for the things I've done and not tell me what I can't or shouldn't do. Words like, "don't disappoint me" are so cruel in that way. Just laden with expectation and guilt. How do you respond to that one? And look, I'm not catholic or anything but I think Koreans know a thing or two about guilt- parents explain it all. It's frustrating mostly, when deep down, you know you're not at fault, when you're only deciding on what's best for yourself and your life. But there's the rub, it's you, you, you. And there's that guilt again just creeping in...

And the countdown begins....

2009-05-19T09:49:00.000-07:00

13 more days of classes, 42 more days in Bulgaria, 56 until I'm home in Florida... and 2 years of my life is over. How does that happen? Was I really just 24 years old, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? Ok, so maybe not the bushy-tailed part, but the bright eyes definitely went dull 3 months into Peace Corps service. And I really didn't think I'd make it this far.

There were several times I thought I'd quit and go home- specifically that first winter, I was so sick and so cold, not feeling the teaching thing at all, I didn't think my kids appreciated me or wanted me here, I wasn't sure I'd still be here 2 years later. And although I'm not quite sure how much of a real impact I've had, I'm glad I stayed. Not only for my students and my community, but for myself. Of course it wasn't all on me, I had so much help and support, from friends and family, here and at home, my Ljudmil especially. It's made all the difference.

I'm more than excited about finishing teaching. Yes, I love (some of) my kids, and I've made some great memories with them, but one thing I definitely learned in the past 2 years is that teaching is just not my calling. Or maybe it's just teaching kids that don't speak the same language as me, I don't know. Anyhow, I do have a much greater respect for all teachers and what they do, I really don't know how they do it. I pretty much stumbled through it these last years and came out somewhat unscathed, and it's something I'll never forget, though hopefully I can forget the bad parts, at least.

I'm happy to say that I'll be beginning graduate school this fall, not quite sure exactly where yet. I've been accepted into the Ford School of Public Policy at the University if Michigan in Ann Arbor, which is a great school and I'm really excited about going there. But I'm sort of holding the candle for the Wagner School at New York University and I won't hear from them until the end of June, plus it depends on how much $$ I can get for financial aid from either school, so we'll see. Come fall, I'll either be in MI or NYC. Two very different places and two very different lifestyles I'm sure, but I'm ready for either. I'm just grateful I won't be going home to look for a job, I know the market is so bad and I've heard so many stories from friends worrying about their jobs and getting laidoff and everything. I consider myself very lucky and very blessed. Especially since at one point I really didn't think I'd get accepted anywhere with the surge in applications this year.

I'm making little progress trying to wind things down here. I've made a list of all the crap in my apartment I have to give away or throw out. Not much of this has happened yet, most of my plans are on paper or on calendars. June will be the month for action. But for now, it's all in my head. I really don't know how 2 years of life is going to fit into 2, 44 pound bags (and a carry-on).

Spring, where are you?

2009-03-18T13:54:00.000-07:00

So, I'm really ready for spring break. This year I'm keeping it simple. Well, as best I can. One of my best friends, Emily from Smith College whom I lived with in New York (who now lives in New Zealand), is finally coming to visit! I'm terribly excited. As well, our other college friend Elizabeth will be meeting up with us for a couple days too. After a few days of wandering around Sofia, we'll head to Macedonia's Skopje and Lake Ohrid for some international travel, then head back for some time in Southern Bulgaria and the Rhodopis. A night in Melnik and some winetasting, then to the famous Yagodina and Devil's Throat caves, and then a night in Shiroka Luka, one of the top ten most beautiful villages in BG (according to Lonely Planet). So I'm pretty excited for this very Balkan and Bulgarian holiday. It's only a couple weeks away, but you know me, I'm already thinking about COS travel plans in July! Croatia? Montenegro? I'm thinking lots of turquiose blue beaches and sleeping on the beach...

New Year, New Start

2009-01-19T07:55:00.000-08:00

I feel already this year is going to be a rollercoaster, just anticipating the changes and the moves. 6 more months of Peace Corps service will go by in a flash, I'm sure. And I'm ready to go home. I don't mind Bulgaria, I'm sure I've grown to love parts of it, but 21 months in and it's like, man, I'm ready to be in familiar surroundings, I'm ready to walk into a supermarket and know where everything is and WHAT everything is. I'm ready to see my friends and just go out for a drink after a day at work, I'm ready to see my family and eat Korean food, ethnic food, ANYkind of food other than Bulgarian food. I miss being able to eat out-of-season fruits and veggies. I miss American television, libraries, dvds, movie theaters, orchestras, and other live music. I miss driving, Wal-mart (YES, Wal-mart), and all the other little things that I've probably forgotten that I miss. Just being around people I know I could easily communicate with, understand, and relate too, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it removes that shroud of stress that you always carry around in a foreign country. It weighs down on your shoulders and sometimes you forget it's there, but it's just exhausting. I'm ready to understand the world around me.

I'm not particulary homesick, but I think when these next 6 months are over I will be much more than grateful to be able to call America my home. It's especially ampliphied because today I've been watching the inauguration preperations on the news and I wish I was home to share in the excitement. I definitely feel a little out of the sphere. But Obama will be around at least for the next 4 years, I hope to be in the States for most of it, if not all.

There are some great things in my life though, the little things, but I've learned to appreciate the little things. (Of course they don't seem so little to me). I've finished my grad school applications, all 5 of them. It's such a relief and 12 essays later good riddance! Now it's just a waiting game. Of course I'm worried that I might not get in at all, but what's done is done and now it's up to God and those admissions officers. I'm hoping for the best.

I've also received my winter boots, the ones I've been pining for since November. After not being able to find good quality, warm boots in Italy, I ordered a pair of Uggs (not the huge muffin ones, much cuter than that) and asked Amy to bring them over with her since she was in the States for Christmas. Of course, the airline lost her bag (and my boots) and after much worrying, they were delivered a week later. My toes are toasty warm now at my heat-less school and I'm happy as a camper.

That's my world for now. I'm waiting for 1st semester to end so I can get a 5-day weekend. That will be a much welcomed break. This weekend-Stara Zagora for belated birthday celebrations!

The kindness of people

2008-12-16T14:11:00.000-08:00

I was delighted to hear the other day from Emily's mom, Marcia, that the org she works for, Highlights for Children, will be donating loads of books for my school here in Bulgaria, and Marcia is footing the shipping bill, which I'm sure will not be cheap. After almost two years here trying to make something out of what sometimes seems like nothing, it's so amazing to see that others are willing to see the bright side for you. And I'm not just talking about donations and such, but simply with words and encouragement, it really makes a huge difference to someone freezing their ass off in a Balkan winter. So thanks.

I haven't written in forever but as I realize it's already December and that I've been here for one year and eight months already and that I'll be leaving this country and what is now my home in only six months, I truly can't believe how fast life has moved. Six months will be gone in a flash and my life will be so different then. It's a little overwhelming to think about, but it also feels like a time to start reflecting. But not too soon! There's still some work to be done.

I opened the English library this semester at my school and the students are going crazy! They are constantly asking me when we'll visit the library next. It's not much, but compared to the pathetic Bulgarian library available to them full of tattered books, it's a big improvement. I think mostly the kids just want to look at the pictures and get there hands on a colorful book since most of the Bulgarian ones are pictureless and brown. But even if they can't read them all, it's something, and I hope even through osmosis they can absorb some knowledge. So it's great to hear that we'll be getting more books soon.

Other than that, life is cold. My 145 year old school is badly in need of renovation and I'm not sure it's ever had one. There's no insulation and the old wooden windows are drafty and the heating is almost non-existent. Everyone wears jackets, hats, and gloves indoors, and usually I have to defrost my fingers on the radiator between classes, although it doesn't do much. I just can't believe they allow these conditions. Students can barely feel their toes let alone think about algebra and English. And for the little ones in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade, it's just sad, and I know this would never be the case in an American public school. I think plans for renovations have been on hold so long because the school is losing students each year and it's possible that in the next couple of years it could shut down. Some schools in other villages shut down over the summer because of low numbers, and unfortunately, I think Popitsa could be headed in that direction. Hopefully, I'm wrong.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel to this seemingly frozen winter season: this is my last week before Christmas vacation and Ljudmil and I are heading to Rome. I'm terribly excited, not only to get out of the country but to eat incredible, amazing food. Oh yeah, and of course to see the Sistine Chapel and the Pantheon. Minor details. Check out facebook for pictures soon. Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone. Best New Year's wishes to all!!!!

Fall, here we come!

2008-09-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

Besides the fact that my eye has been twitching for some unknown reason today, things are rolling. School starts on the 15th and the summer was exactly what it should've been: hot, sunny, relaxing, and fun.

Most of July was spent teaching my English Summer Camp at my school which consisted of making maracas out of rice and toilet paper rolls (a year's worth) and dancing in a conga line to "Jump in the Line" (Shake, Shake, Shake Senora- from Beatle-Juice???), playing Red Rover (kids are fierce with this game!), and making animal masks. It was actually a great time to have fun with the kids, interspersed with English lessons. The older kids always wanted to take me to the river in their village. We'd just walk and talk, mosey around, then when we'd get to the river, the more rambunctious boys would strip to their skivvies and jump in the river! And I mean, this isn't some mountain river, it's got like trash in it! So I'd always object, but they did it anyway. They seemed to be having a good time anyway.

This summer was also the birth of my yoga class and it's really my pride and joy. I've been working on this ever since I got to my site last summer but there was never a space for it. When I asked if I could hold it in the Cultural Center in town, the then-director said "Yoga is a sport, not cultural". I was like WTF, mate, what yoga are you talking about?? So that pissed me off, it was mainly because they didn't want to pay for heating probably during the winter and at the time I had no way of paying for it. During the spring though, an amazing business-woman in my town opened a gym for women and had extra space and agreed happily to let me start a yoga class there. After purchasing mats with money raised from donations Stateside, it started once a week in July, but the women enjoyed it so much, we decided on twice a week. There's a couple teachers and other women from my community who come, even a pregnant lady came and really liked it so I had to look up special pre-natal yoga poses for her. I'm by no means an expert, or even a seasoned amateur, so I like to stress that I'm "leading" the class, not at all teaching. Thank goodness for the internet, I've been reading about breathing exercises, looking up poses and sun salutations, I definitely couldn't do this on my own. But it's really given me a new appreciation for yoga and the whole practice. It sort of makes me want to go to India for a couple weeks after Peace Corps to do some sort of intensive workshop with a yogi. We'll see. Hopefully I can get a couple women really excited about it to possibly continue the class when I'm gone, that would be ideal.

After English Summer Camp was over, I booked it straight for the Black Sea. It was a bit of a rocky start. My boyfriend, Ljudmil, thought his friend had a villa on the sea, close to Turkey, so on the day of our departure, we're sitting there talking to his friend, Plumen. Plumen's like, this is how you get there looking on the map, and Ljudmil's like, well I thought it was this way and Plumen's like, well you're going to the Rodope Mountains, aren't you, and we're like no, isn't your villa on the Black Sea, and he's like, no, it's in the mountain, and we're all like SHIiiiiiit.

So that sort of sucked because it was peak season and we had no reservations on the sea. But being the optimist that he is, Ljudmil suggested we still head that way and find something when we get there. Needless to say I was a little pissed, even though I guess it was an honest mistake. We drove (or he drove, more accurately) 8 hours to Sozopol, a little seaside resort area. We got in around midnight, his car on it's last leg making some really strange sounds, and with no place to stay. We wandered around for an hour or two in the new town with no luck and finally found a place around 2 in the morning. It was pricey of course, but we stayed there for 2 nights before we found a great little guesthouse by the beach in the old town, owned by a sweet Bulgarian couple. It was pretty cheap and we ended up there for about 6 more nights. Ljudmil was like a kid in the water, he hadn't been to the beach since he was in 6th grade! How does that happen?! He bought scuba fins for his feet, and a snorkel set, it was pretty hysterical but he seemed to be enjoying himself and the water was just perfect. I mean, besides the occassional jellyfish, the water was pristine. The old town was just cobblestone street after street lined with old Bulgarian-style guesthomes and shops. There were cafes and restaurants lining the shore and a beautifully lit, old fort wall.

It ended up being a perfect getaway besides the rocky start, the car breaking down, getting stranded without a hotel, me getting stung by a bee for the first time in my life. But we took a boatride, ate mussels and delicious seafood. Walked around, watched an outdoor film, watched free concerts, and tanned on the beach. There was even a lunar eclipse while we were there so that was pretty cool. Ljudmil's car ended up in Bourgas, the large city nearby, to get fixed up and by then we just wanted to get back home instead of going through the mountains like we had originally planned. It was enough adventure for us.

So now school is starting, I really can't believe it, but I'm ready to get back, ready to have a schedule, ready for cooler weather. The leaves are already changing here, it's a little sad. And only 10 more months in-country. That, I can't believe. It's going to fly by. So, year two, show me whatcha got.

Thank you Summer Vacation

2008-07-02T10:55:00.001-07:00

It seems like ages since I last wrote. I guess it was still freezing then and now it's July and the sun's been pounding down like it's been here forever. I get tanner and tanner everyday, just from walking from the center of town to my apartment. Everyday there's a more noticable white space on the tops of my feet from my sandals. Even with sunscreen. I've somehow gotten used to breaking out in an incredible sweat just walking around town in the middle of the day. In the States if that had happened on my commute to work, I would've gotten anxious and pissed, just because I knew that my freezing, air-conditioned office was only a 10 minute walk away from the subway station. But here, there is no air-condition at the end of the rainbow, just my fan in my apartment, and I've gotten used to it, I guess. But I'm prepared: a hankerchief for the sweat dripping down my face, a frozen bottle of water to keep me cool through the day, and lots of spf30.

But even with the heat, I love summer. Especially as a teacher, who doesn't? I was waiting with such impatience for June 15, the last day of school, and when it finally came, I was relieved to have gotten through the year alive. The last couple of months were especially difficult with my students and with my co-workers. My director's been nothing more than lukewarm about me being there so I had thought about switching schools but ultimately decided that no matter what, I'd have to try harder. And I love my town and my friends here, so maybe after a much needed summer vacation, I'll be able to go back refreshed and renewed (let's hope).

For now, things are rolling along. Maybe a little faster than I like, actually. I led my first yoga class yesterday and it was great. I'm really excited about it and I think my class is too. It's in a great little space at the new fitness center in town and I'm just happy to be able to share it with people, who've heard about yoga, but don't really know what it is. I also started my summer English camp at school today and kids showed up! I was so happy. And I'm also trying to study for the GRE, which is a real drag, but something I have to do well on. I registered for the test on August 11, so wish me luck or cross your fingers for me. I already feel a little lighter with some summer rest. I went hiking in Vitosha mountain a couple weeks back with my boyfriend and then visited another volunteer for her town's festival, which included excellent food, fair booth games (BB guns!), fair food (think funnel cakes!), and lots of lounging by the pool. This week has been pretty busy though preparing for the yoga and the summer English classes and our 4th of July cookout on Saturday!

I'm just looking forward to reenergizing myself this summer and be ready for the fall when it comes. I can't believe it's already been a year and I'll be leaving this country in exactly one more year. It may sound like a lot, but I'm sure it'll fly by. This first one already has.

Spring Vacation, where are you?

2008-03-25T05:35:00.000-07:00

Had an awful day at school today. Since second semester started, it hasn't been too bad, but when there is a bad day, it just seems like everything goes wrong and it makes me want to leave Bulgaria and the whole thing. That's when the slightest thing, like people staring at me, drive me up the wall. It's like, leave me the hell alone. I miss the annonymity of New York all the time. But then again, I guess if you died in your apartment there, no one would ever find you. Maybe I've been watching too much Law&Order. The teachers kept changing the schedule on me today. I kept ending up in one class only to have another teacher walk in 10 minutes late (don't ask me why it's ok for teachers to be late to their classes) and tell me I had the schedule wrong, students confused and all over the place. It was just so frustrating. I hate my school sometimes.

The teachers look for every excuse to miss classes or be late, they just don't seem to care all that much about the students. So then, why should the students care? Not that they're the easiest kids to teach. I get harassed all the time by some of my 7th and 8th grade boys, they're seriously little perverts sometimes and a quarter of my kids can barely read Bulgarian, let alone English. Since the English classes have to be by grade and not by language level, it's so difficult to find a perfect medium. I mean, there are kids who want to learn and want to be there, but I feel like they're at a disadvantage already, just being at a village school compared to the kids in the bigger cities. It's just unfair for them, because there are some really bright students in my classes and I want to help them. And there are those that just want attention because they probably don't have parents at home and all the adults in their lives (including teachers) have put them on the sidelines. It's overwhelming sometimes, and I feel like I'm trying to keep them in order more than I'm actually teaching anything or making any sort of difference in their lives.

I've heard most PCVs consider ETing (early termination) during their time in-country, and it's probably not a real experience if you haven't thought of it, and I've definitely considered it. I just wonder if two years is really enough to do anything. I mean, there have been other volunteers in this town, and some people remember them. My students ask me about them once in a while. I guess after a whole generation gets in touch with volunteers, people start thinking differently and see Americans differently, and I guess that's a good thing. It just seems so abstract and far away. It's so intangible and I guess I struggle with that.

My friends here have really been my saving grace. My Bulgarian tutor, Irena, is such a great woman and I love talking with her. She's very intelligent and ambitious and a great English teacher at her school. She's not really like the other Bulgarian teachers I've met, she actually wants her kids to have fun! Danche, who works at the municipality is a sweetheart, she's probably too nice sometimes, because people tend to take advantage of her generosity. Both of them are really open-minded and love learning new things, so it's great to be around them. Danche's family is great too, I feel like they're my surrogate family here. Her father is a painter and her mother, a Russian language teacher. Ljudmil and I went to their place over the weekend. Ljudmil played chess with Danche's dad and I painted with Dani and Krsita, it was a nice relaxing weekend- I need more of those. Krista, another PCV and my sitemate, has been a lifeline. I really didn't think we'd be good friends during our time here, I wasn't excited or anything when I found out we'd be in the same town, but it's been surprisingly great and I'm so thankful for her friendship. And she's a great cook! It's nice to be wrong sometimes, and humbling. I'm just one of those people where first impressions are a big deal, and it's difficult for me to look past them, but being here has definitely changed my perception. Especially now being on the other side of that, where I'm the one that people make assumptions about before they've even met me. And well, Ljudmil of course has been incredible at helping me see the brighter side of things, he's always so damn optimistic, I don't know how he does it, especially having grown up in this country.

So with that, on a brighter note, I'm going to Greece on Saturday for Spring vacation, which is a much much needed one. I can't wait. Amy and Krista will be accompanying me to Athens and Thessaloniki. So look out for new pictures soon. And this is my cousin's new baby girl, Heidi, I had to post it because he was trying for the Kim Il-Chong Mini-me look, and it made me happy today.

Secret Asian Man

2008-02-28T13:05:00.000-08:00

Found this today, thought it was funny:
Secret Asian Man

And the sun came out...

2008-02-25T11:28:00.000-08:00

The past two weeks have been absolute heaven. The sun has been shining and it's been warming up enough that I finally took off my long johns! Since October! White crocuses are popping up in every garden and my kids are getting antsy to play outside. On Thursday I went into Vratsa, the closest city, where I have to pick up my packages, and met up with Laura, another PCV, and sat out in a cafe in the sunshine for lunch. It was fantastic. Spent the weekend with Ljudmil in Sofia, walking around the city, enjoying the weather, eating corn and drinking tea, and browsing all the Martinitsa stands. The 1st of March is a big holiday where everyone in Bulgaria gives their friends, family, and colleagues red and white string bracelets (like those 5th grade friendship bracelets) for health and good luck for the coming spring and year. When you see the first stork or buds of spring, you hang your bracelet in a tree or bush. It's fun at least, and apparently my students will bombard me with Martinitsa bracelets after March 1st. There's supposed to be a Martinitsa concert at the Culture House in town this weekend, so that should be fun. March 3rd is also Bulgarian Independence Day from "the Turkish Yoke", a national holiday following Martinitsa.

School has been great lately and I'm excited about summer projects that I'm planning for. Hopefully, the fact that the director left won't interfer with anything and I hope I can get a lot done. I've found some great Bulgarians in town to work with who are more than willing to help with projects. So things are rolling.

I'm planning on going home in May for my brother's graduation from business school. It'll be the first time I'll be home in a year, which makes me terribly excited and nervous all at once. I'll only be there for a brief 9 days or so, first in Philadelphia, Florida, then New York, so it'll be a whirlwind trip. I think if I had gone home to the States over Christmas, I wouldn't have wanted to come back. But now that things are easier here and I have so many things going on, I may just feel like I'm coming back "home" when I get back to Bulgaria. Peace Corps always says it's a little bit of a reverse culture shock when you go home, and maybe so. I'll just be happy to see my family finally after so long. And the food. Oooooh the food. I just miss Korean food and sushi and Mexican! Where is Café Habana’s Mexican grilled corn smothered in butter and cheese when you need it?! And just a damn good ‘ole cheeseburger or hot dog. You can’t find good beef in this country, it’s impossible! Even the ground meat is usually 40/60% beef and pork. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a beef steak on a menu anywhere. It’s usually pork or chicken. I’ve actually been trying to avoid most red meats while I’m here anyway, just to keep my diet healthier.

But I must say, they are dairy experts here. Ljudmil’s mom has been making me some excellent homemade yogurt the past few months and it’s really the best stuff I’ve ever had. It’s probably like fatty fat yogurt, but it’s so fresh and creamy, like butta, I tell ya, like butta. I feel all those good acidophilus bacteria working in my intestines! Haha! Ljudmil also has a little dairy farm venture going on with a farmer friend of his so he always brings fresh milk over. I actually had it the other day and it grossed me out just a little because that film of fat that was left on the top got in my glass and I’m sorry, but I just don’t do chunky milk. But after it was sieved, I was a happy camper and it was so yummy! I just thought, man, if only I had some warm chocolate chip cookies, I’d be in business. And I’ll get some Little Debbie mix from Publix when I’m home. Only two and a half more months!

Check out my Bulgaria Albums.

Winter, go away

2008-02-06T16:34:00.000-08:00

2 more months and I'll have been in Bulgaria for a year. I can't believe how fast it's gone. Was it really so long ago that I was pushing papers around and glued to my $1,000 modern office chair at MoMA? Apparently it was.

Second semester has begun and school has become just another part of my life here. I think I have a good handle on it, yet things seem to change pretty quickly there too. My favorite teacher left the school for another teaching job in town and my director officially announced her resignation. She will be starting a position with the Municipality as Vice Mayor of education. She handed the torch (or in this case, her official stamps and stamp pads) to my counterpart, Kamelia. The incompetant one. This will be very interesting and we'll see how this one ends up. She's acting director until the summer, so I don't think it could be too bad. I mean, besides the fact that I think she's the most apathetic person in the world, I guess it's better that she's dealing with administrative issues than actually teaching the kids. The apathy won't rub off so much, hopefully, while she remains in the director's office instead of the classroom.

The past few months have been fine as far as work, but the weather's been keeping me down. Seriously the coldest winter I've ever experienced. It's not that it's so much colder than Massachusetts or New York, it's just that the heating here sucks. I have one heater in my room but my bathroom and kitchen are freezing, and who likes to sit on a cold toilet seat at 6:30am? It's a harsh wake-up call. It's quite foggy here too, so there was probably a good 2-3 weeks of blue skies and sun all winter, the rest of the time I've felt like I was in some horror flick, you can barely see a few feet in front of you when you're walking outside. It's totally creepy. I'm always anxious that some rabid, Cujo-type dog will lunge out of the fog toward me. So far, no bad stray dog experiences, except I went to throw out my trash in the dumpster a few weeks ago and heard a rustle and then saw something moving in it and was absolutely freaked out and then the dog's head popped up. So like any nice person would do, I gave him my trash. I actually had leftover pork ribs once and Ljudmil insisted that I just throw them off my porch for the dogs, and the thought of just throwing bones and trash out of my 6th floor apartment really disturbed me at first, but then realized that's how these dogs live and how people keep their trash bins a little less smelly. So I guess it's a win-win situation.

Christmas in town was relaxed and nice. New Year's was spent with Peace Corps friends in Istanbul, but as soon as I got back my immune system was attacked by some freak-virus/bacteria that I'm sure I caught on the Turkish/Bulgarian border where we sat for 3 hours waiting in the cold to get through. The bus ride was about 12 hours anyway so what can you expect with all that recycled air? I was out for pretty much 2 weeks with classic flu symptoms and awful sores in my mouth, I could barely eat. Needless to say I was really hungry after the whole mess.

Things are just starting to pick up again now. I feel a little healthier, the air feels a little warmer outside, and the school year is half over. We're barely in school second semester. After March there's seriously about 25 days of vacation. I'm just waiting for the last bit of snow to melt, crossing my fingers that it will be the last of the season, and waiting for the sun to come out. I can't wait.

Waiting for Friday

2007-12-19T00:12:00.000-08:00

I am waiting for Friday and that oh-so-awaited vacation I've been needing. Curfew at 2am, 10 hours of sleep at night, living in pajamas and vegging out in front of the telly... yae! I'll be spending Christmas here in Bulgaria. A Bulgarian friend invited me to her place for dinner and all that, but mostly I'll be lounging around like a Roman aristocrat (minus slaves). For New Year's I'm headed to Istanbul with a few peace corps friends, should be a good time.

I can't believe it's already been 8 months since I first got here. Time sure does fly. The changing of the seasons is what truly makes you realize how long you're here. The streets are covered and slicked with ice and packed snow now and it has not been pleasant to say the least. I'm so afraid of slipping and cracking my head open. Well, it's a way to get home to the States for sure, but I'd rather avoid that. I've been wearing probably 4 layers of clothes on a daily basis since November and it's only getting colder, which sort of freaks me out about January. I can't wait for summer again, of course I'll be complaining then about how much I'm sweating, but no matter.

School has been better lately. I mean, my kids are still rugrats and I hate them sometimes, but for the most part, they've grown on me. Mostly, I've learned to lower my expectations. It sounds bad, but there's a certain amount of that you have to do. When you give a test and everyone essentially gets D's or F's, you have to reassess and start again. Plus, the social life is good now and I'm really happy with my new boy, so what can I say? All in all, life it good.

Slumber party

2007-10-14T13:50:00.000-07:00

I don't remember the last time I got together with a group of girls for a weekend and had so much fun. It was a perfect weekend of chatting, eating, hiking, playing, and just hanging out. Jenine's 25th birthday was Friday and Osie, Sarah, Sharon, and I got together in her village, Vedrare, near Karlovo in the Rose Valley. We went to Sopots and walked into the hills, then ended up in Karlovo and ate an amazing lunch of grilled salmon skewers, breaded sesame chicken with yogurt sauce, Mexican chicken with corn and beans, parmesean and bacon chicken, and chicken in a mushroom cream sauce. Oooohhh foood. We stayed up talking like 6th grade girls at a slumber party and played cards. It was exactly what I needed to refresh myself for another week of school. So here we go...

Throat lozenges and rain

2007-10-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the last time I wrote but since the school year began in September, things have been downhill. I've had more "I hate Bulgaria" days than I can count. I knew after the first day of school, the honeymoon was over.

My teachers haven't been too helpful but I guess it's mostly because I can't communicate with them and even when I can, I don't know what to ask. My kids don't listen, they're constantly talking all over me, don't want to read or write, or do anything really but horse around and eat their cold pizzas and plastic juice cups that they stuff into their filthy desks when I tell them to put them away. My counterpart, the one teacher (for English) that's supposed to be guiding me through this whole process is MIA, but recently because my director has a heart condition and cannot come into school, my counterpart, Kamelia is taking the reigns. I find this quite hilarious because I think she's pretty incompetant but that's just my opinion.

It's 3-4 weeks into the school year and most schools have been on strike for weeks now, but because my school started out late, we're not beginning until Thursday because they had to fill out some sort of paperwork 7 days beforehand. I'm not quite sure what that means for me, but most of my fellow PCVs haven't been working. I do agree with the whole thing although as American volunteers we're not allowed to participate. The teachers here make an average of 2-400 leva a month, a measley $150-300. Not enough to live on. But the strike is straining everyone from the teachers, to the parents and the students. I'm not sure how much longer it will go on. The only up-side is that if I do indeed have no students coming in, I will have a few days of respite, which I am looking forward to after these past few weeks.

It's been a challenge to say the least. The combination of the rowdy students to the uncommunicative staff, to just the sheer fact that I have no idea what's going on on a daily basis at my school. Also, the bubble I've been living in hasn't made things easier. I'm not sure if it's been happening all along or if the situation has just been magnified, but I've been noticing more people just staring at me. I know this is because most people here have never seen an Asian person before in their lives. People just stare for much longer than is comfortable though, and if I stare back, they just keep staring, it's incredible. And it normally wouldn't bother me but day-in and day-out of this, with every person I pass or come across, it starts to grate on your nerves. After living here for 6 months I've started to think of Bulgaria as the norm but then I find so many people staring that I realize how sheltered these people are, or maybe that's not the correct word, but just unexposed to the rest of the world. It's pretty homogenous here.

At the moment, I have a cold, so that hasn't been helping, the second in a month, compounded by the rainy Fall weather. And the thing is, Fall is usually my favorite. I find myself missing Autumn in New York City, it seemed so much easier then to enjoy it all. When there's Central Park and jazz bands and brunch around, I guess the changing of the seasons seems less painful.

So yes, this is my rant post. Finally, after 6 months. I must say though, not everything is terrible. Besides my newly coined phrase (After Blood Diamond- This is Africa- TIA), This is Bulgaria- TIB, said when things are unexplicably strange (which is quite often), I have managed to find myself a great guy in the midst of all this. Yes, a Bulgarian, which surprises me as much as it probably does you. We've been dating for about a month now and things are great. But that's all I will say about that. You'll have to message me for more informaiton. HAha!

First two weeks at site

2007-07-17T10:18:00.000-07:00

So it's been a combination of exhaustion and boredom, it's quite difficult to describe. I jumped right into a summer program teaching a few hours a day, playing English games and doing "creative" projects. It's been fun and relaxed so far but I'm running out of ideas already! I tried showing a film, Happy Feet, and realized the DVD player remote had no batteries, so I ran around town before class trying to find some. Finally found some and put them in, still didn't work! So the kids had to watch the movie in English, which = boredom after about 15 minutes. So I tried to use the computer lab with the kids and that's a whole other story. Only 6 computers in the lab work, 3 of which I can't log onto because for some reason the teachers don't have the passwords and don't know how to work the computers anyhow. And the ones that are up and running are still useless because there are no educational programs installed and the internet is always down. Plan C, the English library, but again, not today, because it's connected to the accountant's office and the accountant has the keys to the room and she's out on vacation for the summer. You'd think that the director's office would have a key to every room in the school building, but that's just all too logical for them. It doesn't really make sense to me. But oh well. Welcome to the Bulgarian school system.

Besides that, I finally moved into my apartment last week which was very exciting and very dirty. My school director had two ladies come to clean the place, thank goodness, because I couldn't have done it on my own. There was so much calcium and iron build up from the hard water on all my faucets and sinks, one of the ladies went at it with a chef's knife! I find out today vinegar works just as well. I also learned how to use my washing machine, which I am by the way, very grateful for. The out water tube empties in the sink instead of draining into pipes from the wall. During the spin cycle, the water started to empty and the tube got loose, flooding my entire kitchen, getting under the laminate floor. I scampered around with all my towels to soak it up and finally cleaned up the mess. After I thought I knew what I was doing, half an hour later, the same exact thing happened again and I was scampering around like a fool for a second time, this time with my clothes since I had nothing else to soak up the mess. That sort of pissed me off for the day, but I think I have that thing under control. But never be too sure, Sarah, I say, because as soon as you think you know everything, the washing machine will rise again!

So I've been cleaning and setting up my apartment but there's just some things that can't seem to get done. Like putting up posters or pictures of friends and family. I keep meaning to, but then sleep calls or this wonderful little thing called high-speed internet calls to me and what can I do but be pulled in by the sweet sweet pings, dings, and gurgles of my Mac? I'm a sucker, I know. I did however re-pot the plants I inherited, including a beautiful Ficus and Poinsetta plant. I also planted some cilantro, so we'll see how that pans out. So ok, I haven't been all that unproductive. I am teaching, I am learning more about plants and washing machines. I'm learning more about cleaning through internet research than I ever would have in the states, that's how I figured about the vinegar. See?! This is why internet is so helpful! I can't read the Bulgarian and 10 other languages on the back of the Mr. Muscle (renamed from Mr. Clean in the States) cleaning product!

So two more weeks of teaching and then a break finally! This is why I'm exhausted. I jumped right into work as soon as I moved to my permanent site and I'm just aching for a vacation. Unfortunately the Peace Corps doesn't let us leave our town for more than a weekend the first 3 months because they want us to "integrate" so I'm shackled to my town. Not that that's the end of the world, but "integration" doesn't come after three months of saying hello to the corner store lady. It just doesn't work that way. It takes time, and a hell of a lot at that.

I have had my share of adventure however. The Michael Bolton concert in Sofia started the fun. A friend knew a friend that worked for Bolton's booking agent and got us free tickets, how awesome is that?! And if you didn't know yet, I'm the queen of easy listening, so I was in heaven. I was able to see the latest Harry Potter movie which made me squeal with glee and I bought a bicycle with a little basket on the front. I do have to make a trip to Sofia very soon for a helmet and some much needed heavy duty insect repellent for the fleas. So another trip is in the works. Hopefully I can find my way to the Black Sea for a weekend of baking and salty swimming.
I'll write again soon!
The End

***The writing, ideas, beliefs, and whatever else you can think of are the opinions of yours truly. They are the opinions of one person's Peace Corps experience and in no way, shape, or form are the opinions of the United States or the US Peace Corps or representative of other Peace Corps volunteers in Bulgaria and around the world. Just an FYI!

Last weeks

2007-06-18T18:07:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it but there is just over a week left of training. We swear-in on June 29th at headquarters and then we're off to our respective towns and villages. It was a helluva long two and a half months and I'm glad it's winding down, but then it did fly by and I'm not quite sure that I'm ready to go out on my own with the little bit of language skills I've acquired. I'm scared and worried and freaking out a little in my head. But they say it's only a matter of time before we find our groove. I just can't wait to get to site and have a week to relax, sleep-in for the first time in months, catch up on e-mails and the rest of the world, have a place to call my own, and cook for myself. There's only so much banitsa (famous Bulgarian cheese and fat-filled pastry) this body can take. I mean, c'mon, bikini season is fast approaching and I need to get in shape! Luckily, I haven't gained as much weight as some of the PCVs (Peace Corps Volunteers) said we would. Only a pound or two, but a few I can afford to shed.

The last few weeks have been plenty busy but fun. I had a few days to look around Sofia and visit another PCV in a small village in the Stara Planina (Old Mountains). The country is gorgeous wherever I go. Mountains are bountiful as well as flowers and fruits. The countryside is full of roses and poppies (June is rose season) and it's also cherry season. A few of us went cherry picking and they're sold on the side of every highway and in every market. Sofia is bustling always. George Bush came by last week for a visit. I think current PCVs went to go see him at the Embassy. Trainees weren't invited but I'm glad of it. I'd rather waste my time on a worthy president.

I'm sad to leave the little celo (village) that I'm currently in. Boboshevo is a beautiful little jewel between the Rila and Pirin Mountains so absolutely lush and overflowing with friendly faces. I love my host family and the school children I've befriended. The girls and I have actually made a few Bulgarian friends. There's Metodii- aka Iron Maiden, Daniel #1- aka Foxy, Boiko, Post office lady, Clara the disgruntled expat, Tom the skeezy expat, Daniel #2- aka Johnny who runs the pool and has a sweet hatchback mercedes, and some others. There may be no internet and only one working public telephone in the post office, a serious lack of decent public toilets, a major flea problem, scary stray dogs, goat and sheep poop on the streets, no street lights after midnight, and possible Mafia (aka Moulin Rouge) presence, but still, I'm sad to leave and I hope to visit again in the wintertime, maybe for Christmas and definitely if I have friends or family come visit me next year.

Our community outreach project was a success. We had a sports day for the kids in town at the stadium, beginning with stretches and relay races and some kickball. It was the perfect day for it and the last week of school. I think the kids enjoyed it and at the very least they got to see us make fools of ourselves. We finally ventured to the public pool dubbed "the plazhe" (the beach, in Bulgarian) in our bathing suits after sports day for a much needed cool down.
We also went on a hike of the Seven Lakes in the Rila mountains. The most beautiful place I've ever been. I'll post pictures as soon as I can.

I have yet to feel incredibly homesick. There's always little bouts here and there, but nothing serious. I hope it stays away until the inevitable winter blues roll around. It's crazy that I probably won't see my family or friends until next year. I'm hoping to go to New York and Philadelphia for my brother's graduation in May 2008 and spend some time with the fam. There's always an open invitation for ya'll to visit me here. So let me know whenever. I actually have friends coming through this area next week so hopefully I'll run into them over the weekend. My uncle Don is also supposed to be on a cruise of the Black Sea and will be stopping in the Bulgarian seaside city of Varna. So maybe I'll catch a glimpse of him as well. As soon as my first 3 months of being an official PCV are over, I'm planning trips. Greece definitely, which is pretty easy to get to by train or plane. Istanbul, Bucharest and Transylvania, Budapest, Prague, Croatia, Slovenia, Moldova, Montenegro, and Cyprus are all on the list, we'll see where I can get to in the next two years. I'm also planning to get to Morocco since a certain someone will be starting Peace Corps service there in August and then the big trip to New Zealand to visit my dear Emily after the end of my service. It's early, I know, so we'll see where this goes... Exciting!!!!!

Where was I

2007-05-31T15:55:00.000-07:00

So for my bi-weekly update. There is drama in Boboshevo. My satellite site mates, Amy, Janel, and Day are my accomplices and they've been very well behaved, but the guys in our town, and the men and people in general in our town just love to gawk and stare at us until they get some sort of reaction. Anyhow, we went to the discoteca recently and met a few decent men. One we call Foxy, then Iron Maiden, who wears exclusively Iron Maiden t-shirts all the time and combat boots. Then there are the sketchies. There is a man we're convinced is part of the mafia and since the word "mafia" is the same in English and Bulgarian, we've dubbed it "The Moulin Rouge". Apparently, he's a 24 year old guy running the tourism office of the municipality but we're convinced he's some how affiliated with the hotel being built in town which is fronted as being funded by the Vietnamese. It's quite interesting. Then there's the 19 year old that's in love with Amy and the Italian in love with Janel who tried to get fresh with her after the disco.

We're really just play things and I think they're having fun trying to figure out what we'll be doing next. It's quite hilarious. There was also the 15 year old who asked me to dance at the discoteca and and when Amy asked him what how old he was he answered, "I study geography". Lovely.

We're having a grand old time however, the fleas have fallen out of favor with me and I'm actually beginning to heal, but they've scarred me for life. Raid is my bedside companion. There's nothing I can do about it. However, things are getting better and there's only 5 or so weeks left of training. I can't wait to get to my site. We'll see what happens.

Lambs and fleas

2007-05-14T17:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a month already since I left the states, I can't believe how fast it's past by but at the same time the days seem to crawl by here. Hour by hour. It's been an interesting past few weeks here in Boboshevo. You'd never think as much in a town of 1000 people, although we only seem to run into and see the same 15 people everyday, I'm not quite sure where the rest of the 985 people are. I sure as hell haven't run into them.

So yes, the lamb. It was Saint George's day last Sunday and the town was celebrating, especially those named George. Bulgarians celebrate Saint days specifically if they are named after that saint. So anyhow, I woke up on Sunday morning, fully aware that in the evening, I'd probably have some lamb and maybe some rakia. I went downstairs with my dirty laundry with the intention of washing it that morning. On the way down, I'm greeted by Sonya stuffing a very raw and very dead lamb full of seasoned rice while Vasil was assisting her, holding it up while Sonya sewed up the belly. That wasn't so bad, I could deal with that. But then I went over to the faucet on the porch for my laundry and the bucket where I usually rinse my clothes was filled with pink-tinged water and the lamb's head. Hmm. Sonya noticed my strange expression and said, oh, that's ok, you can still do your laundry, and proceeded to dunk her hand into the bucket, grab the lamb's head with her bare hand (eyes still intact), and pour the water out and handed me the bucket. Ok, I wanted to do my laundry but I wasn't about to put my clothes in that bucket without a few more sanitary precautions. So I declined and used another bucket. Later, as I was hanging my clothes to dry on the line, I noticed at the back of the porch the lamb's skin, with legs and hooves intact, just hanging. Hanging out there like it was the most normal thing. It's been a week and it's still hanging there, I don't know what they plan on doing with it, if it's good luck or what. No idea. But it's just a little gross. And mind you, I love lamb but as that lamb was roasting in the oven, I couldn't help but throw up just a little in my mouth. I mean, it didn't taste bad, but seeing all that, I'd lost my appetite a bit. And that was a good story. My other sitemates told me their story the next day and how they were forced to have lamb stew with bits of liver, artery, and other strange lamb parts. So I'm grateful mine was just lamb meat and rice. I was afraid I'd have to eat the leftovers for the rest of the week, but I got lucky in that regard too.

Yes, and the fleas. I was absolutely fine the first two weeks in Boboshevo. One sitemate had had fleas, but no one else. I guess I must've picked one or two up on the way home or something, because as of yesterday I have about 150 flea bites all over my body, I'm totally not exaggerating. I look like I have leprosy or some other heinous super chicken pox-like disease. Unpleasant to say the least. The buggers would just hop on to my clothes and eat me alive without me knowing it! You can't feel it when they bite you, it's only after the fact that you feel some irritation and by then the flea has moved on. I think the high animal population of sheep, goats, and stray dogs is what does it. Fleas are just everywhere. I thought they'd be content occupying the numerous stray dogs in our town, but apparently they taste a difference in Korean-American blood or something. I don't know, but I was on my last leg, I couldn't take it and I sprayed my room down with BioKill. I don't know where they get this stuff, but the peace corps office supplies us with it in cases such as this. I used up an entire bottle. And then even went and bought some Raid for extra protection, although that stuff is quite potent. I called the PC doctor in desperation and she told me to take some bendryl or claritin for the bites since I had too many to actually apply hydrocortisone cream on each and every one. I think it's been helping so far. But who knows. I feel like there's always some new bite that turns up. I think I'm also allergic because these tiny red bite bumps just flare up like crazy. I could really do with a nice steaming hot bath with oatmeal and creamy bubble bath, ahhhhh, that would be heaven right now. I can't even wear a skirt right now, my legs looks so scary. Ugghh.
So that is the story of lamb and fleas.
I 've also just discovered my permanant site. I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you. But I'll be up in the Northwestern region of Bulgaria in a town of about 16,000 and I'll be commuting to teach in a small Roma (gypsy) village of 2100 just outside of the town. I'll be about 2 hours from Sofia, the capital which is a decent distance and a few hours from Romania. I'll be visiting this week and will report back next week hopefully. Meanwhile, I'll be keeping those fleas at bay...

Internet, my long lost love

2007-04-27T16:03:00.000-07:00

so I've been in Bulgaria for 2 weeks now and this is the first time I've been able to get to a computer with internet. I think it's seriously the longest I've ever gone without internet since it was invented. I know, it's pathetic, my reliance on it, but I can't help it! It's not easy!!!! Anyhow, I'm in Boboshevo a village/town of about 1,000. There's no internet, bad international calling capabilities, and 1 cafe in the center of town. And some sort of stalinist/communist-like statue in the center. Besides those cons, it's the most beautiful provincial town I've been to, right in the Rila and Pirin mountains. I wanna break out in song and dance to Disney's Beauty and the Beast, "Bonjour! Bonjour! Look there she goes...." Except in my case it would be in Bulgarian, "Zdravey! Zdravey!" hahah, I crack myself up. Everyone has a garden full of poppies and tulips, grape vines, herbs, and fruit trees. My family's garden is right by the river and has the most beautiful view of the town. There's also plenty of goats roaming about, chickens, donkeys, horses, and stray dogs.

Anyhow, I'm here with 3 other peace corps trainees until the end of June. I'm with a wonderful host family, Sonya and Vasil. They make delicious homemade red and white wine with grapes from their garden. They've been feeding me incredible amounts of food, won't let me do any chores, even though I tried washing the dishes. I did manage to learn how to hand wash my own clothes and I was actually quite proud of myself afterward.

Everyday starts in the primary school, teaching a few English classes and receiving technical training from the English teacher there. Then we have 4 hours of intensive language training. The real learning happens with my host family however and I'm always surprised with how much I can actually communicate with just my sad Bulgarian vocabulary and some strange facial expressions and lots of charades. They're great people though and have a sense of humor about it all as do I.

Tomorrow they're taking me to the Rila Monestary, supposedly the most gorgeous in the country. I'm excited about that. I'll try and post pictures when I can. Until next time, Priyaten den!

Packing

2007-04-12T09:50:00.000-07:00

This really blows. I mean seriously, how do they expect you to pack 2 years of your life into 2, fifty-pound bags? I'm trying to make the most of my meager duffle and travel backpack, but alas, I'm having serious issues. I've tried folding, rolling, and stuffing clothes into the far reaches of my luggage, uuuuhhh, mm, no. I even went as far as to find a Fodor's guide on how to pack; it was literally called "How to Pack". They had some handy tips but nothing I didn't already know. Hence, I'm procrastinating my life away. At least for the next day or so. Ok, shake it off Sarah. Back to work...

Last Days

2007-04-11T02:22:00.000-07:00

I know the subject sounds like I'm on death row or something, but really, it's just my last days in the country. As I was eating a chewy chips ahoy cookie I wondered, will I be able to find this little delicious prefabricated morsel in Bulgaria? Let's hope so. Or else I'll have to find a good recipe. Apparently Dr. Pepper is hard to come by so you best be sure I'll be guzzling me some of that yumminess before I make my departure. I'm leaving for Philadelphia this Friday for 2 days of orientation and then I'll be leaving on a jet plane this Sunday. Please pray that I'll be able to find my preferred brand of shampoo there and that I'll come across one other Asian, just one, so I don't feel too incredibly alien. Thanks!